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"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"
"Hello yes, I placed an order on seamless and it's been nearly an hour."
"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"
"How about this: you don't take our order by memory and we won't forget to tip?"
"Hey buddy, you ever gonna order a drink, or what?"