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"Humor should be employed to defuse tension, not create it."
"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."
"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."
"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."
"For kids who think they can be naughty again after Christmas, I'm the Re-Po Elf."
"A shot of whisky, a beer chaser, and the current issue of TV Guide, please."
"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."