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"Thank you, but I've already provided for my children's college education."
"You call it grad school; I call it raising the debt ceiling."
"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."
"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."
"How much is that in years of tuition?"
"How many more years of graduate school support do you need, son?"
"Good day, Madam. I'm working my son's way through college."
"Maybe saddling them with some debt will help these future generations work off some of their damn obesity."
"Tuition payments made me do it."