Tv News Cartoons

"Is this the movie of the week or the news of the day?"

"No comment."

The News Cycle

"I'm going back to my room, where the media is a little less mainstream."

The All-Crisis Network

"And now here's Jerome with an overview."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"Now over to the weather desk for a detailed report."

"This is your ninety-nine-per-cent-news-free six-o'clock news."

"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."

"My client has nothing to leak at this time."

"He always times '60 minutes.'"

"And, closer to home, your wife is doing shots with some Dutch sailors on the Bowery."

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

"Ronald Reagan won two victories in the Senate today, one victory in the House, and one victory in House-Senate conference, which gives him a career total of a hundred and ninety victories - only thirty-nine short of the world's record of two hundred and twenty-nine victories, held by Franklin Delano Roosevelt."

The Fates - News, Sports and Weather.

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"We've tried all the news channels - this guy is unbreakable."

The Evening News

"Fox News has actually learned squat. Details at ten."

"If you like Sally's new hairdo, dial 1-900-555-6220. If you don't like Sally's new hairdo, dial 1-900-555-6221."

"In an unrelated development, yellow ties came in, briefly held sway, and just as mysteriously disappeared."

"This just in: there's no such thing as breaking news."

"I had to stop watching the news - it was making my own problems seem insignificant."

"And now Warren Kellogg, with the dystopian side of the news."