Unhelpful Cartoons

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."

"We've decided to build a little cubicle around you and your desk, Harris."

Too many coxes.

"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."

"So how's everything going?"

"Want to know what I think?"

"Where is Madison Avenue? You might well ask."

Information: You are a tourist.

"If the plunger doesn't clear up the condition, bring in your drains and we'll have a look at them."

"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "

"You people are crazy about Batman—ask him."

"With your idea and my nothing, we could be rich."

"Well, I'm sorry, Wendell, I just assumed you knew you were a frill."

"It takes a while to kick in, but it should do nothing."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"Well, don't just stand there looking precancerous."

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"Well, now that you have it, you can stop worrying about getting it."

Tipping the I.R.S.

"I know we're married, but I'd still like to work out a shared-custody arrangement."

"I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm from New Zealand, and all I know is sheep."

"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."

"Visualize yourself not dying and then be that reality."

"We've enjoyed our little visit, son, but we'd better leave—I think they're getting ready to fire."

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist