"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."
"We've decided to build a little cubicle around you and your desk, Harris."
Too many coxes.
Tags:cox, coxed, coxes, coxswain, coxswains, row, rowing, rows, rowed, single, sculling, scull, sculled, unhelpful, useless, pace, pacing, paces, instruction, instructions, steer, steering, steered, confusing, confused, exercise, fitness, hobbies, sport, sports, shout, shouting, megaphone, megaphones, order, orders
"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."
"So how's everything going?"
"Want to know what I think?"
Tags:baseball, baseballs, huddle, team huddle, team, wrong team, side, sides, switch sides, batter, bat, batting, pitch, pitcher, pitcher's mound, mound, team meeting, opinion, opinionated, unwanted, unwanted opinion, input, unwanted input, unsolicited, inappropriate, eavesdrop, eavesdropping, unhelpful, not helping, sport, sports, live sport, sporting, bad sport, unsolicited advice, bad advice, unwanted advice, patronise, patronising, patronised, patronize, patronizing, patronized, talk down
"Where is Madison Avenue? You might well ask."
Information: You are a tourist.
"If the plunger doesn't clear up the condition, bring in your drains and we'll have a look at them."
Tags:plumber, plumbers, plumbing, advice, giving advice, unprofessional, professionalism, lazy, laziness, layabout, layabouts, business man, business men, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, business people, self help, self-help, bad advice, impracticality, modern life, con man, con men, con, cons, unhelpful, unhelpfulness
"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, animal, animals, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, gila monster, gila monsters, language, languages, pronunciation, english, unhelpful, wasting time, biting, bite, emergency, emergencies
"You people are crazy about Batman—ask him."
"With your idea and my nothing, we could be rich."
Tags:rich, idea, ideas, innovation, innovate, innovates, piggyback, freeloader, freeloaders, freeloading, getting in, get in on, genius, geniuses, invention, inventions, innovations, innovates, contribution, contributions, contributes, unhelpful, free rider, free riders, glory supporter, stealing, steal, stolen
"Well, I'm sorry, Wendell, I just assumed you knew you were a frill."
Tags:frill, unnecessary, unneeded, redundant, redundancy, unemployed, unemployment, fired, let go, laid off, extra, embellishment, employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, business, businessmen, businessman, management, hierarchy, hiring manager, word play, name calling, rude, useless, unhelpful, office, offices
"It takes a while to kick in, but it should do nothing."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, placebo, placebos, nothing, useless, pointless, unhelpful, treatment, treatments, cure, cures
"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."
Tags:market, markets, husband, husbands, sexist, nappy, nappies, childcare, economy, adam smith, invisible hand, unseen hand, wife, wives, father, fathers, dad, dads, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, free market, arbitrage, married, marriage, marriages, couple, couples, unpaid labour, unpaid labor, housework, economics, economic, unhelpful, lazy
"Well, don't just stand there looking precancerous."
Tags:sunbathers, sunbathing, sunbath, beach, beaches, seaside, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, skin cancer, skin cancers, cancer, cancers, cancerous, disease, diseases, dermatologist, dermatologists, dermatology, beach chair, beach chairs, unhelpful, wife, wives, husband, husbands, nag, nags, nagging, sun cream, suncream, sun-cream
"Well, now that you have it, you can stop worrying about getting it."
Tags:doctor, doctors, consolation, unhelpful, medicine, medical, diagnose, diagnosis, worry, worries, patient, patients, worrying, contract, contracted, worried, not helpful, counterproductive, unprofessional, bad, bad medicine, worries, fear, fearful, fears, doctors office, prognosis, treatment, treatments
"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."
Tags:fashion, fashions, fashionista, suit, suits, jacket, jackets, outfit, outfits, outfitting, sell, selling, sells, pinstriped suit, pinstripes, separate, separately, extra, extras, useless, unhelpful, consumerism, shopping, shops, clothes, clothes shops, clothes shop, fitting, sales, sale, tailor, tailors
Tipping the I.R.S.
Tags:tax, taxes, taxing, taxed, tax return, tax returns, internal revenue service, irs, i.r.s., hmrc, her majesty's revenue and customs, her majestys revenue and customs, hm revenue and customs, tax collecting, tax collector, tax man, taxman, service, tip, tips, tipping, hopeful, unhelpful, disliked, government, governments, money, monies, law, laws, return, returns, unusual, unlikely, bribe, bribes, bribery, corruption, corrupt
"I know we're married, but I'd still like to work out a shared-custody arrangement."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhappy relationship, unhappy relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, conflict, conflicts, legal, law, laws, custody, shared custody, family law, arrangement, arrangements, lazy, unhelpful, absent, absent father, absent fathers, couch potato, couch potatoes, babysitting, duty, duties, helping with the kids, helping with the children
"I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm from New Zealand, and all I know is sheep."
Tags:man, men, stranger, strangers, asking for directions, directions, lost, confused, map, maps, address, addresses, pedestrian, pedestrians, help, helping, unhelpful, assist, assisting, useless, city, cities, urban, new zealand, kiwi, kiwis, new zealander, new zealanders, tourist, tourists, street, streets, animal, animals, sheep, herd, herds, flock, flocks, shepherd, shepherds, stereotype, stereotypes, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, know, knowledge, traveler, traveler, traveller, travellers
"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."
"Visualize yourself not dying and then be that reality."
Tags:lifeguard, lifeguards, life guard, life guards, drown, drowning, shark, sharks, shark attack, shark attacks, victim, victims, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, lazy, useless, unhelpful, life coach, life coaches, life coaching, coach, coaches, coaching, advise, adviser, adviser, advising, advice, counsellor, counselling, counsellors, visualise, visualize, imagine, imagination, reality, death, dying, beach, beaches, bad advice, useless advice
"We've enjoyed our little visit, son, but we'd better leave—I think they're getting ready to fire."
Tags:firing squad, death, execution, dying, dies, died, execute, post, fires, shoot, shooting, parent, parents, unhelpful, visit, visiting, gun, guns, prison, prisoners, capital punishment, capital punishments, family, families, military, firing squads, court marshal, court marshals, mum, mums, mom, moms, mother, mothers, father, fathers, dad, dads
George Gershwin, Psychiatrist
Tags:therapy, therapies, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, shrink, shrinks, therapist, therapists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, unhelpful, summertime, sam cook, song, songs, lyric, lyrics, reference, references, george gershwin, composer, composers, useless, counterproductive