"This is Larry. If I were Matt Damon, he'd be Ben Affleck."
"I can feel the baby kicking."
"Get a life."
David Blaine, Age 60
Tags:david blaine, magic, magician, magicians, magical, illusion, illusions, endurance, enduring, endure, cot, old age, growing, old, aging, aged, guest, guests, uncomfortable, uncomfy, painful, pain, pains, irritate, irritating, guest cot, staying over, entertain, boring, unimpressive, unimpressed, stunt, stunts, ice block, ice blocks, endurance, endurance test, endurance tests, mattress, mattresses, lump, lumps, lumpy
"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."
Tags:ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, glass of water, glasses of water, vaudeville, vaudeville act, vaudeville acts, dummy, dummies, puppet, puppets, unskilled, unpracticed, silent, silence, stage show, stage shows, easy, make it easy, making it easy, unimpressive, difficulty level, difficulty levels, throw your voice, throwing your voice, comedian, comedians
"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."
Tags:space, outer space, science, planet, planets, moon, moons, astronaut, astronauts, nasa, n.a.s.a., national aeronautics and space administration, space exploration, home, homes, house, houses, new, apartment, apartments, flat, flats, moving, fine, alright, ok, o.k., real estate, real estate agent, real estate agents, real estate agency, real estate agencies, estate agent, estate agents, estate agency, estate agencies, property agency, property agencies, property agent, property agents, opinion, opinions, unimpressed, unimpressive, man on the moon
"I'd like you to meet my pillows."
Tags:furniture, pillow, pillows, sofas, sofa, couch, couches, cushion, cushions, family, families, interior design, decor, decoration, interior decor, overdoing, overdone, overdoing it, loneliness, lonely, empty nest, empty house, replacement, dating, dates, date trouble, love life, impress, impressive, unimpressive, introductions, introduce, introducing, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, bachelor, bachelor pad, middle class, new middle class
"Is that all you can say—'It's not messy'?"
Tags:artist, artists, modern art, modern artist, modern artists, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, unimpressed, unimpressive, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, criticise, criticising, critical, mess, messy, clean, tidy, clean lines, modernism, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs
$165 Billion!!! Huge amount of money!
Tags:money, stock, stocks, stockmarket, invest, investing, inflation, inflate, inflated, devalue, devalues, stock market, stock markets, investors, investor, acquisition, merger, mergers, unimpressed, unimpressive, greedy, jaded, tired, bored, boring, unimpressive, newspaper, newspapers, reporting, reports
"I thought I was going to be much more blown away by the Liberty Bell."
Lifetime Achievement Awards
"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."
Tags:monet, artist, artists, painter, painters, famous artist, famous artists, impressionism, impressionist, impressionists, french impressionism, french impressionist, french impressionists, throwback, throwbacks, bad painter, bad painters, conceit, conceited, pretentious, pretentiousness, pretension, reminiscent, copycat, copycats, modern art, modern artist, modern artists, claude monet, unimpressed, unimpressive
"You're the woman of one of my dreams."
Tags:couple, couples, dates, date, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, dreams, dream, dreaming, dreamer, dreamers, the woman of your dreams, love scene, love scenes, chat-up line, chat-up lines, chat up line, chat-up lines, chatting up, chatting-up, balcony, balconies, balcony scene, balcony scenes, embrace, embraces, embracing, loving embrace, flirt, unimpressed, unimpressive, gender issues, self importance, self important, self-importance, self-important, narcissistic, narcissist, narcissism, narcissists, bad relationship, bad relationships
First Cynic in Space
"Instead of 'It sucks' you should say, 'It doesn't speak to me.'"
Tags:artist, artists, art gallery, art galleries, art museum, art museums, culture, cultured, uncultured, modern art, modern artist, modern artists, art appreciation, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, manners, bad manners, good manners, impolite, unimpressed, unimpressive, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness
Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.
"Hey, that's a cat trick."
"Tell everyone it was a bigger bird."
Tags:bird, birds, bird of prey, birds of prey, seabird, seabirds, abducted, abduct, kidnap, kidnapped, antic, antics, wacky, summer, summer people, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, beach, beach house, summer house, summer home, leave, on leave, out of office, beaches, coast, carried off, ego, pride, hurt pride, unimpressive, unimpressed, legacy, legacies, public relations, spin, spin doctor
"We've agreed, then—earthlings cannot join the Intergalactic Federation until they've improved the quality of their sitcoms."
Tags:alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, science fiction, sci-fi, television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, show, shows, program, programs, programmes, programme, watching television, watching tv, watching t.v., sitcom, sitcoms, comedy, low quality, quality, sense of humor, sense of humour, human, humans, earthling, earthlings, intergalactic, unimpressed, unimpressive
"I don't actually speak them, but I know the names of lots of languages."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, dating, date, dates, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, showing off, show-off, show-offs, show off, show offs, unimpressive, language, languages, bilingual, multilingual, unexceptional, unremarkable, man, men
"Really? I've never known anyone in the phone book before."
Tags:date, dates, first date, first dates, flirt, flirts, chat up, chat-up, chatting up, chat-up line, chat-up lines, chat up line, chat up lines, the phone book, out of date, out dated, old fashioned, behind the times, phone book, phone books, bad date, bad dates, unimpressed, unimpressive, unattractive, unattractiveness
The Wonder Of It All
"Don't judge me until you see me web page."
Tags:date, dates, first date, first dates, judge, judging, prejudge, prejudging, website, websites, web page, webpage, web pages, web page, flirt, chat up line, chat up lines, chat-up line, chat-up lines, unimpressed, unimpressive, blog, blogs, blogger, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, influencer, influencers
"Did you know 'fajitas' is Spanish for 'tiny girdles'?"
Tags:date, dating, dates, first dates, first date, awkward date, awkward dates, awkward, facts, boring facts, interesting facts, incorrect facts, fact, lie, lies, lying, lying to impress, trying to impress, impress, impressive, unimpressive, fajita, fajitas, food, mexican food, restaurant, resaurants, mexican restaurant, mexican restaurants, food lover, food lovers, foodie, foodies, etymology, fake, fake fact, fake facts, fakes, dinner, dinners, dinner date, dinner dates