"The active ingredient is marketing."
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market, marketing, advert, advertising, as seen on tv, adverts, active ingredient, active ingredients, ingredient, ingredients, health, healthy, health products, bogus, useless, sales, sell, selling, sale, scam, scamming, mis-sold, mis-sell, placebo, placebo, fad, fads, placebo effect, nocebo, nocebo effect, medicine, fake medicine, health products, health product, pointless, useless, active ingredient, active-ingredient, active-ingredientsToo many coxes.
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cox, coxed, coxes, coxswain, coxswains, row, rowing, rows, rowed, single, sculling, scull, sculled, unhelpful, useless, pace, pacing, paces, instruction, instructions, steer, steering, steered, confusing, confused, exercise, fitness, hobbies, sport, sports, shout, shouting, megaphone, megaphones, order, orders"The right hand doesn't even know what the right hand is doing."
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government, the government, politician, politicians, right hand, the right hand, right hand man, incompetent, incompetence, us politics, white house, the white house, admit, inadequate, inadequacy, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, useless, uselessness, co-ordination, co ordination, no co-ordination, no co ordination"Why should I grow leaves if they're just going to fall back off?"
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teen, teenager, teens, teen-ager, teen-agers, adolescent, adolescence, rebellion, rebel, rebels, leaf, leaves, parent, parenting, parents, raise, raising, angst, angsty, tree, trees, shed leaves, pointless, useless, rebelled, complain, complaining, complains, personified, personify, personification, child, children, kid, kids"And, while I'm away, you'll be in the good hands of my oversight committee."
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oversight, oversights, oversight committee, oversight committees, absence, absences, long absence, long absences, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, head of household, heads of household, household, households, husband, husbands, useless, uselessness, house sitter, house sitters, house sitting, trip, trips, long trip, long trips, supervisor, supervisors, supervisionCrap from the future.
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razor, razors, razorblade, razorblades, razor blade, razor blades, safety razor, safety razors, special feature, special features, feature, features, future, futurist, futurists, future product, future products, blade, blades, deluxe razor, deluxe razors, useless, uselessness, consumerism, consumerist, consumerists, modern life, modern times, advertisement, advertisements, advertising, better mousetrap, better mousetraps, invention, inventions, inventor, inventors"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."
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mortgage, mortgages, adjustable rate, adjustable-rate, desert, deserted, shack, house, houses, country, countries, home, homes, economy, housing market, real estate, finance, finances, money, worries, worrying, desert, deserts, adjustable rate mortgage, repossess, foreclose, foreclosure, useless, pointless, pity, pitied worry, crash, foreclosed"'Pee on the carpet!' That's your solution to everything."
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dog, dogs, housebreaking, housebroken, one-track mind, one-track minds, singleminded, urinate, urinating, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, rant, rants, ranting, argument, arguments, arguing, solution, solutions, useless, singleminded, single-minded, spat, spats, argument, arguments, spouse, spouses, married couple, married couples"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"
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opposable thumbs, chase, chases, chasing, predator, predators, prey, advantage, advantages, evolve, evolves, evolving, evolution, evolutionary advantage, evolutionary advantages, human, humans, rabbit, rabbits, runner, runners, speed, speedy, lion, lions, big cat, big cats, value, relative value, hurry, hurries, hurrying, brag, brags, bragging, braggart, braggarts, spite, spiteful, useless, uselessness, hunt, hunted, hunter, hunters"I need everybody to come down to the garden to cheer on the tomatoes."
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gardener, gardeners, tomato, tomatoes, grow your own, tomato plant, tomato plants, cheer on, cheering, cheer, cheering on, garden, gardens, hippy, hippies, tree hugger, tree huggers, tree hugging, useless, uselessness, pointless, pointlessness, flower power, bohemian, bohemians, bohemian lifestyle, bohemian lifestyles, flower person, flower people, nonconformist, nonconformists, nonconformity, non-conformist, non-conformists, non-conformity"I don't know, Al. On the one hand, there's no doubt that it's a made-work, dead-end job, but, on the other hand, it's also a vice-presidency."
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dick cheney, vice president, vice presidents, useless, uselessness, figurehead, figureheads, occupation, occupations, dead end job, dead end jobs, make work, job, jobs, paper pusher, paper pushers, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, useless, uselessness, worthless, self-worth, prestige, prestigious, prestigious job, prestigious jobs, prestigious position, prestigious positions, bartending, bartender, bartenders, made work, bush administration, white house, cabinet, cabinets, cabinet position, cabinet positions"He's still in therapy."
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therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, funeral, funerals, memorial, memorials, wake, wakes, still, life after death, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, corpse, corpse, dead body, dead bodies, deceased, dead, death, mental health, healthcare, health care, pointless, uselessExecutive Softball League
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executive, executives, entitled, entitlement, entitlement complex, entitlement complexes, expectant, expectation, expectations, delegate, delegates, delegating, delegation, lazy, laziness, useless, uselessness, upper class, upper classes, idle rich, rich, wealthy, powerful, elite, elites, baseball, softball, softball league, outfield, outfielder, outfielders"Well, I'm sorry, Wendell, I just assumed you knew you were a frill."
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frill, unnecessary, unneeded, redundant, redundancy, unemployed, unemployment, fired, let go, laid off, extra, embellishment, employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, business, businessmen, businessman, management, hierarchy, hiring manager, word play, name calling, rude, useless, unhelpful, office, offices"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
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airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism"How about air-quality canaries on every flight?"
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management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, boardroom, chief exec, chief executive, chief executives, board member, bogus, idea, ideas, airline, airlines, airplane, plane, planes, airplanes, aeroplanes, aeroplane, fly, flying, flight, flights, canary, coal mine, canary in the coal mine, air quality, pollution, pollute, pollutants, useless, uselessness, irony, ironic, dramatic irony"Is this a good shoe for sitting?"
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shoe, shoes, fit, fitting, sneaker, sneakers, fitness, lazy, laziness, sitting, sit down, sitting down, shop, shopping, shoe store, shoe shop, shops, store, stores, health, healthy, lethargic, inactive, pointless, useless, consumerism, consumerist, fashion, fashions, shopped, unhealthy, exercise, exercising"It takes a while to kick in, but it should do nothing."
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hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, placebo, placebos, nothing, useless, pointless, unhelpful, treatment, treatments, cure, curesA marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.
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swing set, swing sets, swing, swings, swinging, raft, rafts, priority, priorities, high priority, high priorities, bored, boredom, low priority, low priorities, wrong priority, wrong priorities, useless, uselessness, rescue, rescues, proactive, comfort, comfortable, discomfort, row, rows, rowing, freedom, flee, flees, fleeingThe Guy Who Invented An Alcohol Substitute
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alcohol, alcohol substitute, alcohol substitutes, alcoholic, alcoholics, nonalcoholic, non-alcoholic, drinker, drinkers, drinking, miss the point, misses the point, missing the point, invention, inventions, inventor, inventors, health benefit, health benefits, healthy choice, healthy choices, healthy option, healthy options, diet, diets, dieting, useless, drinker, drinkers, wine, wines, winos"Thank goodness you're here. His dish is empty."
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dog, dogs, canine, canines, pet, pet, pet dog, pet dogs, gender issues, misogyny, household tasks, household chores, domestic tasks, domestic chores, dog food, dinner, dinner time, dining, animal, animals, anthropomorphism, talking animal, talking animals, marriage, cohabit, co habit, co-habit, cohabitation, co habitation, co habitation, unfair, unfairness, discrimination, discriminatory, gender discrimination, lazy, laziness, useless, uselessness, irritated, irritate, irritation, irritated wife, anthropomoric