"This is really embarrassing."
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, hoover, hoovers, sweeper, sweeper, embarrassed, embarrassing, embarrass, trash, garbage, rubbish, dust, trash can, trash cans, garbage can, garbage cans, garbage bin, garbage bins, rubbish bin, rubbish bins, dust bin, dust bins, bin, bins, can, cans, eating, eating garbage, eating rubbish, eating trash, caught, caught red-handed, night, nighttime, middle of the night, pet, pets, hungry, starving
"I just do the little things that don't show up in the box score."
Tags:boston, new york, baseball, baseballs, baseball player, baseball players, sport, sports, professional athlete, professional athletes, athlete, athletes, athletic, athletics, benchwarmer, benchwarmers, vacuum, vacuums, hoover, hoovers, hoovering, hoovered, vacuuming, vacuumed, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners
Vacuuming Up the Mood
Tags:miserable, misery, depressed, depression, depressive, depressives, depressing, dark cloud, dark clouds, black cloud, black clouds, vacuum, vacuuming, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, positive outlook, positive outlook, clean up, cleaning ups, couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, support, supportive
Cowboys and Vacuums
Tags:cat, cats, pet cat, pet cats, pet, pets, cat owner, cat owners, cat and mouse, mouse mice, infestation, infestations, rodent, rodents, pest control, mouse infestation, cat lover, cat lovers, kitten, kittens, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, vacuuming, household chore, household chores
"I have a feeling they are going to treat us like dirt."
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, little green man, little green men, alien invasion, alien invasions, alien spaceship, alien spaceships, alien abduction, alien addictions, ufo, ufos, unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theorists, dirt, bad treatement
"Of course, if you don't want to buy the vacuum cleaner, there's always the other option."
Tags:grim, grims, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, angel of death, embodiment of death, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, cleaner, cleaners, salesmen, salesman, salespeople, salesperson, sales, mythical figure, mythical figures, sales pitch, sales pitches, sales strategy, sales strategies
"It's quite simple, madam - pick the right card and you win this beautiful vacuum cleaner; fail and you forfeit an appliance of your choice."
"Her last wishes were that her ashes not leave a mess."
Tags:funeral, funerals, cremation, cremations, crematorium, cremate, crematoriums, cremates, death, deaths, wishes, wish, last wish, last wishes, final, final wish, final wishes, ash, ashes, remain, remains, clean, cleans, cleaner, cleaning, tidy, tidies, mess, messy, vacuum cleaner, vacuum, hoover, vacuum cleaners, vacuums, messed, odd, unusual, end, passing
"Everybody, this is Mr. Bryce—Mr. Bryce is a salesman."
Tags:party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, introducing, introductions, salesman, salesmen, sales, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, hoover, hoovers, door-to-door sales, door-to-door salesman, door-to-door salesmen, door to door sales, door to door salesman, door to door salesmen, leisure, business, businessmen, businessman
"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"
Tags:dinner, dinners, tea, dinner time, tea time, family meal, family meals, vegetables, vegtable, veg, eat your veg, eat your vegetables, family, families, parent, parenting, parents, parenthood, feeding the dog, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, robot vacuum, robot vacuums, parenting fails
"The doctors said, 'We can rebuild your husband. Faster. Stronger.' But then I thought, 'Hold on just a second...'"
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, vacuuming, cleaning, clean, cleans, housework, chore, chores, household labor, household labour, relationship, relationships, husband, husbands, wife, wives, couple, couples, cyborg, cyborgs, robot, robots, medical, medical procedures, medical procedure, rebuild, rebuilt
"I scattered her ashes. Then I changed my mind."
"Nevermind the carpet, Roomba! Go get help!"
"Please continue. I'm all - briefcase! - ears."
Tags:hairdryer, hairdryers, hair-dryer, hair-dryers, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, vacuum cleaning, dog, dogs, canine, canines, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, noise, noises, inconsiderate, inconsiderateness, chore, chores, housework, household chore, household chores
"Ah, we meet again, my old nemesis."
0100 hour. The Roomba uprising begins.