"Damn! God gave me that pen."
"I know how expensive women's shoes are, but take the goddam jewelry!"
"I'll trade you one note of loving maternal encouragement for a bag of corn chips."
Tags:kids, kid, child, children, food, lunch, lunches, lunchtime, lunch box, lunch boxes, trade, trades, trading, negotiating, negotiation, negotiations, bartering, barter, bargain, bargaining, note, notes, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, love, encouragement, chips, crisps, bag of chips, bag of crisps, corn chips, tortilla chips, value, valuable, snack, snacks, school, schools
"How much more would this be worth if something happened to you?"
Tags:art, fine art, fine arts, visual arts, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, value, valuable, worth, price, pay, payment, payments, money, increased value, more valuable, expensive, mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, gangster, gangsters, gang, threat, threats, threaten, veiled threat, veiled threats, kill, murder, death, death threat, death threats, dead artist, dead artists, market value, art market, art valuation, art appraisal, appraiser, appraisers, collector, collectors, dealer, dealers, art appraiser, art appraisers, art collector, art collectors, art dealer, art dealers
Tags:cat burglar, pun, puns, cat, cats, crazy cat lady, cat lover, kitties, kitty, kitten, kittens, burglar, grand theft, grand theft auto, auto, autos, sign, signs, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, animals, animal, car, cars, theft, crime, crimes, city life, urban life, urban living, city, cities, no mice, cliche, cliches, stereotype, sign, signs, signage, pet, pets, no valuables, valuable
A Real Find
A squirrel examines a nut in safe deposit box.
Tags:deposit box, deposit boxes, safe deposit box, safe deposit boxes, squirrel, squirrels, nut, nuts, guard, guards, bank guard, bank guards, bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, valuable, valuables, precious, jewel, jewels, jewelry, jewellery, store nuts, stores nuts, storing nuts, winter, winter months, save up, saves up, saving, savings account, savings accounts, pack rat, pack rats
An armed guard watches over a school's supply room.
Tags:military, guard, guard, armed guard, soldier, soldiers, on guard, guarding, education, school, schools, schooling, teacher, teachers, student, students, teacher life, elementary school, primary school, junior high school, middle school, high school, secondary school, public education, public education system, public education systems, state education, state education system, state education systems, national education, national education system, national education systems, public school, public schools, school supplies, funding, politics, money, precious, valuable, supply room, supply rooms, controlled, limited, limited supply, textbook, textbooks, paper, stationery, resources
"Let me ask you a question about this gang that keeps stealing your homework, Howard. How much do you figure they get for a stolen book report?"
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, teacher life, homework, assignment, assignments, paper, papers, essay, essays, report, reports, project, projects, book report, book reports, elementary school, primary school, junior high school, middle school, high school, secondary school, excuse, excuses, lost homework, forgotten homework, questioning, suspicious, gang, gangs, theft, stolen, robbery, robberies, robbed, value, valuable, crime
"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."
Tags:dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, pet dog, pet dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, pet, pets, dog owner, dog owners, mans best friend, man's best friend, cat, cats, cats and dogs, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, valuable, valuables, accident, chinese urn, chinese urns, tang dynasty, the tang dynasty, run away, running away, escape, escaping, robber, robbers, robbing, burglar, burglars, burglary, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, accident, accidents
"How nice. A truffle."
Tags:animal, animals, hog, hogs, pig, pigs, food, mushroom, mushrooms, fungi, truffle, truffles, truffle hog, truffle hogs, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, proposal, proposals, marriage proposal, marriage proposals, down on one knee, proposing, engagement ring, engagement rings, popping the question, precious, rare, valuable, chef, chefs, cook, cooks
The Collector's Corner
Tags:trash, trashcan, clutter, cluttered, one man's trash, another man's treasure, collect, collected, collectables, collectable, collection, obscure, niche, column, columns, columnist, advice, advise, agony aunt, newspaper, newspapers, magazine, magazines, print-media, print media, useless, useless items, hoard, hoarding, hoarder, hoarders, excuse, excuses, antique, antiques, roadshow, money, value, valuables, worthless, valuable
Two armed guards remove a pizza from an armored vehicle.
Tags:armoured car, armoured cars, armored car, armored cars, armoured truck, armoured trucks, armored truck, armored trucks, armoured vehicle, armoured vehicles, armored vehicle, armored vehicles, security, secure, protection, safe, safety, guard, guards, armed guard, armed guards, pizza, delivery, deliverymen, deliveryman, pizza delivery, valuable, important, safety first, excessive, food, takeaway, takeout, secret recipe, secret recipes
"I'm not talking about your Abominable Snowman, mister—I'm talking about that diamond tiara!"
Tags:abominable snowman, yeti, yetis, bigfoot, smuggle, smuggles, smuggling, smuggler, smugglers, tiara, tiaras, diamond, diamonds, jewel, jewels, jewelry, jewellery, airport, airports, airport security, customs, customs officer, customs officers, u.s. customs, suspicious, suspiciousness, profile, profiles, profiling, valuable, valuables, crown, crowns