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"The Sudden, Sure Knowledge That One's Best Efforts Have Come To Naught."
"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."
"First you must see Dr. Ta, and then you must see Dr. Ra Ra, and after that you may see Dr. Boom T. Ay."
"It's the Will Rogers look—don't you love it?"
Plato and Socrates, the Vaudeville Years
"I like Al Gore just fine – if only he weren't such a constant reminder that, for me, vaudeville is dead."
Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.
". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."
"We never talk anymore."