Midlife crises of the Serengeti
"Sure, dead is important. But it has to taste good."
"Bob tells me you hunt."
"Love your work."
"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, vulture, vultures, relationship, relationships, dating, date, dates, bad breath, stinky breath, breath check, breath mint, breath mints, problem, problems, picking up girls, picking up women, talking to women, talking to girls, wingman, wingmen
"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."
"Does anything die and become dessert?"
Tags:vulture, vultures, carrion eater, carrion eaters, bird, birds, carrion bird, carrion birds, child, kid, kids, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, dinner, dinner time, dinnertime, pudding, dinners, puddings, dessert, desserts, chick, chicks, vulture chick, vulture chicks, baby vulture, learn, learning, inquisitive, scavenging bird of prey, scavenging birds of prey, scavenger, scavengers, unfair, unfairness, question, questions, eat your dinner first
"Oh, love handles! We haven't had those in a while."
Tags:desert, deserts, sand, sand dunes, mirage, wasteland, lost, getting lost, cactus, cactuses, cacti, wilderness, vulture, vultures, carrion, bird, diet, diets, dieting, chub, chubby, heavy set, fat, fatter, fatness, love handles, love handle, spare tire, ironic, dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, gallows humor, gallows humor, dead, death, crawl, crawling, cuisine, cuisines, exotic food, exotic foods, variety, variation, variations
"Sure, I'd like fresh meat, but it's hard to argue with carrion's convenience and affordability."
Tags:vulture, vultures, carrion, carrion eater, carrion eaters, convenience, affordability, shopper, shoppers, shopping, grocery shopping, groceries, competitive pricing, competitive prices, animal welfare, free range, battery farming, convenience food, convenience foods, scavenger, scavengers, lazy, laziness, modern attitudes, time poor
"Valerie, I think we should increase our S.P.F."
Tags:spf, s.p.f., sunblock, sunscreen, sun cream, sunbathe, sunbathes, sunbathes, uv ray, uv rays, u.v. ray, u.v. rays, ultraviolet ray, ultraviolet rays, skin cancer, burn, burns, burning, sunburn, sunburns, sunburned, sunburning, sun burn, sun burns, sun burning, sun lotion, tan, tans, tanning, lie out, lies out, lying out, lay out, lays out, laying out, relax, relaxes, relaxing, unhealthy, vulture, vultures, vultures circling, warning sign, warning signs, early warning, early warnings, skincare, skin protection
"The line of Succession"
Tags:succession, successor, successors, business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, business person, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, rat race, the rat race, cut throat, cut-throat, hierarchy, coup, coups, office coup, office coups, vulture, vultures, biding time, biding your time, office hierarchy, office hierarchies, hierarchies, cut throat business, cut-throat business
"It was still breathing? You are such a foodie."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, vulture, vultures, dead, death, food, eating, dining, feeding, corpse, corpses, carrion, meat, flesh, breathing, alive, foodie, foodies, gourmet, gourmets, gourmand, gourmands, food trends, trend, trends, trendy, nature, food cycle, food chain, cycle of life, modern life
"This job is going nowhere."
Tags:job, jobs, career, careers, promotion, promotions, worker, workers, employee, employees, work, office, offices, office life, office job, office jobs, business, businessman, businessmen, dead end job, dead end jobs, dead-end job, dead-end jobs, dead end career, dead end careers, dead-end career, dead-end careers, pointless, useless, vulture, vultures, dying, almost dead
"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"
Tags:heir apparent, heir apparents, employer, employers, employee, employees, kiss up, kisses up, kissing up, suck up, sucks up, yes man, yes men, spy, spies, spying, heir, heirs, peek, peeks, watch, watches, watched, being watched, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, ghoul, ghouls, ghoulish, vulture, vultures, stare, stares, staring
"Be patient. We'll soon be pigging out on lemmings."
"What should I tell the Andersons- twenty minutes?"
A hearse with a vulture hood ornament.
Tags:transportation, vehicle, vehicles, hearse, hearses, funeral coach, funeral coaches, hood ornament, hood ornaments, bonnet ornament, bonnet ornaments, radiator cap, radiator caps, vulture, vultures, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral home, funeral homes, mortuary, mortuaries, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, undertaker, undertakers, mortician, morticians, dead, death
"If I can crawl, you can circle."
Tags:vulture, bird of prey, vultures, bird of prey, lazy, laziness, inconsiderate, desert, desserts, circling vultures, scavenging, scavengers, scavenging birds of prey, condor, condors, apathetic, apathy, cutting corners, dehydration, dehydrated, lost in the desert, exhausted, exhaustion, crawl, crawling, lost, abandoned, abandonment, stranded, conserving energy, conserve energy, survival, survival techniques, carcass, carcass scavengers, decay, decaying, near death, starving, starvation, waiting for death, carrion, carrion eaters, carrion scavengers, circling, circling birds of prey
"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."
"It is too a period of recovery."
Tags:business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, recovery, in recovery, recession, the recessions, financial crash, economic crash, vulture, vultures, stalk, stalking, stalker, period of recovery, periods of recovery, financial recovery, lie, lies, lying, politician, politicians, scavenger, scavengers, banker, bankers
Man Feeds The Vultures Instead Of The Pigeons
"I knew Yorick also. He gave me diarrhea."
Tags:shakespeare, hamlet, shakespeares plays, shakespeare's plays, yorick, alas poor yorick, vulture, vultures, scavenger, scavengers, performer, performers, actor, actors, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters, diet, healthy eating, diarrhea, diarrhoea, bird of prey, birds of prey, predator, predators, carrion eater, carrion eaters, indigestion, bowl infection, bowl infections, shakespearean actor, shakespearean actors
"That's what happens when you try to eat one of them too fast."
"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."
Tags:sky burial, sky burials, tibetan sky burial, tibetan sky burials, buddhist, buddhists, buddhism, funeral, funeral practice, funeral practices, rite, rites, anthropologist, anthropologists, anthropology, superficial, superficiality, westerner, westerners, presume, presumptuous, uneducated, expectation, expectations, high expectations, vulture, vultures, ignorant, ignorance, new age, appropriate, appropriates, appropriating, appropriation
"Don't you just love that new carcass smell?"