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"You have reached the home of Henry and Maureen Wells. If you are selling something, press 1; if you are asking for money, press 2; if you want to talk about phone service, press 3."
"Good day, Madam. I'm working my son's way through college."
"I don't have any corporate sponsors. I have a job."
"I don't fetch. I have a trust fund."
"It was awful – we got stuck sitting next to our kids the whole flight."