Weight Cartoons

"You reckon it might be time to start thinking about a new nickname, Slim?"

"The knees are the first to go."

"Thanks for almost everything, Dad."

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

"I'm afraid the chocolate cake puts you over the calorie cap."

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

Every Hour in the Untited States, People Eat Three Acres of Pizza.

"You've been eating again."

"Why do they all gain those extra pounds at the exact same time of the year?"

"Yeah, but for a fat guy who doesn't exercise I'm in pretty good shape."

"That's the fifth time this year your metabolism has changed."

"Two per cent."

Your gravitas

"Why is it that the person using the seat belt before me is always thinner than I am?"

"I can still fit into my high-school kayak."

Guess your weight-related illness.

"I can't budge this t'ing. We shoulda popped him before he had dinner."

"Forget exercise—find another pear to love you."

"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me gain weight."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"It's mostly penny weight."

"Call the Ford agency—another supermodel just blew away."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"You loved it on Joan Collins."