"Now that I've wiped him out, I kind of miss the little peg-legged b******."
Tags:moby dick, herman melville, whale, whales, ahab, captain, captains, captain ahab, reminisce, reminiscing, nostalgia, nostalgic, literature, book, books, novel, novels, fiction, fictions, character, characters, personified, personification, regret, regrets, wistful, wistfully, whaling, whales, whaled, whaler, harpoon, harpooning
"Instead of killing the whale for its blubber, we're going to do a little lipo."
Tags:plastic surgeon, plastic surgeons, plastic surgery, plastic surgeries, whale, whales, whaling, whaling industry, whaler, whalers, harpoon, harpoons, harpooning, hunt, hunts, hunting, hunter, hunters, lipo, liposuction, nip and tuck, blubber, fat, excess fat, extra baggage, weight loss, lose weight, loses weight, losing weight, vanity, help, helps, helping, help out, helps out, helping out
"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"
Tags:culture clash, literature, literary, culture, cultural, lit major, book, books, book lover, book lovers, bookish, book worm, book worms, pop culture, pop culture reference, moby dick, moby, white whale, whale, whales, whaling, mount, mounted, hunt, hunting, hunter, hunters, trope, tropes, cliche, cliches, captain ahab, bar, bar flies, bar fly, catch and release, capture and release, irony, ironic, ironically, animal rights, animal rights activist, environmental, environmentalism, environmentalist, catch and release, catch-and-release, herman melville
"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."
"We should've stayed on land, and grown feet and kicked ass."
Tags:whales, regret, evolution, feet, growth, kick ass, swim, aquatic life, mammal, whale, aquatic mammal, aquatic mammals, evolve, evolves, regrets, regretting, biped, bipedal, bipedialism, ocean mammal, ocean mammals, marine biologist, marine biologists, marine biology, biologist, biologists, biology teacher, biology teachers, water dweller, water dwelling
"God, how earnest. Whales on recycled paper."
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, greeting card, greeting cards, card, cards, xmas card, xmas cards, christmas card, christmas cards, recycled paper, recycling, recycled, environmentally friendly, eco-friendly, tree hugger, tree huggers, environmentalist, environmentalists, environment, environmental issues, nature, saving the environment, whale, whales, endangered, endangers animal, endangers animals, endangered species, saving the planet, saving the whales, environmentalism, environmental protection, pretentious, modern life
"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"
"Don't make eye contact..."
Tags:whale, whales, whaling, harpoon, harpoons, hunt, hunting, sperm whale, sperm whales, moby dick, moby-dick, whalers, hunter, hunters, whaler, captain ahab, ahab, hermn mellville, melville, eye contact, eye-contact, draw attention, attention, awkward, awkwardness, worry, worried, worries, captain, captains, harpooning, subway, subways, transit, mass transit, public transport, mass transits, literature, book, books, novel, novels, transport, tube, train, trains
"Yeah, well your profile wasn't exactly honest either."
Tags:online dating, internet dating, dating site, dating sites, whale, whales, desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, marooned, mistake, mistakes, mix up, mix ups, ix-up, mix-ups, disappointment, disappointments, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, date, dates, bad date, bad dates, first date, first dates, awkward date, awkward dates
"I get the sense there's some large body of water you're longing to return to - not a lake, maybe a sea? Is it an ocean?"
Tags:psychic, psychics, fortune, fortune teller, mystic, mysticism, divination, diving, crystal ball, crystal, crystal balls, ocean, oceans, sea, sealife, marine, marine life, whale, whales, bogus, hoax, con, con artist, conned, cons, hoax, hoaxes, clairvoyant, obvious, obviously, beached, beach, beaches, beached whale, beached whales, state the obvious, states the obvious, stating the obvious
Save the Whales
Tags:panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, whale, whales, save the saves, beggar, beggars, begging, poverty, poor, street person, street people, charity, charities, charitable, philanthropist, philanthropists, bum, bums, hobo, hobos, activist, activists, collection cup, collection cups, collections cup, collections cups
"You notice nobody gives a damn about beached minnows."
Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab
Tags:culture clash, literature, literary, culture, cultural, lit major, book, books, book lover, book lovers, bookish, book worm, book worms, pop culture, pop culture reference, moby dick, moby, white whale, whale, whales, whaling, mount, mounted, hunt, hunting, hunter, hunters, trope, tropes, cliche, cliches, satisfy, satisfied, satisfying, satisfies, final, finally, happy, happiness, bliss, blissful, peace, peace, at last
"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, defense attorney, defense attorney, counsel, legal counsel, alleged, deny, denies, denial, denials, denying, whale, whales, killer whale, killer whales, orca, orcas, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, trial, trials, objection, objections, not guilty, technicality, technicalities
"Always the last place you look."
Tags:whaler, whaling, harpoon, harpooning, seek, search, searching, whales, whale, sperm whale, crow's nest, look, looking, searched, crows nest, lost, hiding, hides, above, ocean, oceans, sea, seas, bot, boats, last place you look, moby dick, ahab, fiction, fictional, absurd, literature, big, huge, unmissable, unlikely
"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."
Tags:sabbath, the sabbath, shabbat, rest, rests, resting, orthodox, tradition, traditional, orthodox jew, whale, whales, beach, beached, beaches, beached whale, hasidic, hasidic jew, jewish, hasidic jews, orthodox jews, custom, customs, religion, religions, religious, judaism, saturday, fish, fishes, ocean, oceans, sea, seas, play on words, word play, shpasik, jtoons
FASHION NOTESFIRST SHOES FROM ITALY
Tags:shoe, shoes, footwear, fashion, style, art, design, designs, unique, original, inspired, designer, designers, fashion statement, word play, wordplay, typewriter, typewriters, camera, cameras, wine, statue, statues, david, michelangelo, snowman, snowmen, whale, whales, tomato, tomatoes, salsa, italian, italy, in fashion, in style, avant-garde, trend, trends, trendy, modern, shape, shapes
Tunnel of Whale Guts
"What's remarkable is that just last week he was lying despondent on the beach."
Tags:beached whale, beached whales, talking animal, talking animals, whale, whales, pianist, pianists, piano player, piano players, musician, musicians, singing whale, singing whales, performer, performers, environmental activist, environmental activists, environmental activism, depression, oblivious, obliviousness, despondent, despondency
"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."
Tags:whale, whales, whaling, whaler, whalers, whaled, fat, fatness, fatter, fattening, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weigh, scale, scaled, proportional, proportion, new year new me, new year's, new years, new year's resolution, resolutions, new year's resolutions, nye, diet, dieting, crash diet, crash dieting, extreme diet, extreme diets, perspective, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, christmas weight
"Screw it. I'm endangered anyways."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, whale, whales, underwater, fish, endangered, endangered animal, endangered animals, endangered species, smoking, bad habit, bad habits, smoker, smokers, unhealthy, health, fitness, tobacco, giving up, negative thinking, pessimist, pessimists, pessimism, pessimistic, negative
The Ancient Enquirer: Woman Turns Into Pillar of Salt!
Tags:pillar of salt, pillars of salt, salt, lot, lot's wife, ado, edith, wife of lot, miracle, miracles, fantastical, old testament, jonah, legend of jonah, whale, whales, tabloid, tabloids, supermarket tabloid, supermarket tabloids, greek god, greek gods, supernatural, supernatural forces, unreliable, unreliable report, unreliable reports
Tags:ice fishing, ice fisher, ice fishers, whaler, whaling, whale, word play, hunting, hunter, hunted, whales, arctic, arctic life, arctic circle, hole, holes, hole in the ice, size, sizes, waiting, wait, patience, patient, fishing, fisher, angler, anglers, angling, harpoon, harpoons, arctic landscape, arctic landscapes