How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk
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wildlife, animal, animals, cosmetic, cosmetic surgery, surgery, nose job, nose, noses, plastic surgery, cosmetically, cosmetics, surgery, surgeon, surreal, horrifying, strange, imagery, strange imagery, elephant, elephants, trunk, trunks, kid, kids, story, stories, croc, crocodile, crocodiles, face, faces, rhinoplasty, doctor, doctors, modern, modern life, modern world, beautiful, standards, standard"I don't know anything about forest fires. I ate a ranger."
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smokey bear, forest fire, forest fires, prevent, prevents, prevention, fire, fires, wildfire, wildfires, ranger, rangers, bear, bears, wildlife, wild animal, wild animals, ranger, rangers, forest ranger, forest rangers, national park, national parks, national forest, national forests, park ranger, park rangers, safety, fire safetyIt's a wonder they aren't totally extinct!"
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target, targets, target shooting, bird, birds, marking, markings, unfortunate, plumage, tropical bird, tropical birds, hunt, hunts, hunting, hunter, hunters, extinct, extinction, hunted to extinction, endangered, endangered species, target practice, target practise, wildlife, point, points, high score, high scores, high scoring"All we know so far is that something seems to have disrupted their migratory pattern."
"Parks and Wildlife called - I thought you should know."
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missed call, missed calls, grizzly, grizzlies, grizzly bear, grizzly bears, bear, bears, predator, predators, prey, preys, park, parks, national park, national parks, park service, park services, wildlife, husband, husbands, wife, wives"I knew the woodpeckers were a mistake."
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woodpecker, woodpeckers, bird, birds, noah, noah's ark, noahs ark, ark, arks, wildlife, mistake, mistakes, regret, regrets, flaw in the plan, flawed plan, flawed plans, sinking ship, sinking ships, bible story, biblical flood, sunday school, bible stories, genesis, old testament, torah story, torah stories, book of genesis, flood, floods, floodingFrog Office
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frog, frogs, toad, toads, lillypad, lillypads, lilly pad, lilly pads, lilly-pad, lilly-pads, desk job, desk jobs, office job, office jobs, pond, ponds, office worker, office workers, amphibian, amphibians, amphibean, wildlife, wild-life"You've got a piece of eco-tourist or something stuck between your teeth."
"I've been with a lot of gentle woodland creatures who turned out to be real sickies."
Meanwhile, Deep in the Rain Forest...Save the Cities
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environmentalist, environmentalists, environmental activist, environmental activists, environmental activism, rainforest, rainforests, rain forest, rain forests, conservationist, conservationists, city, cities, campaign, fundraiser, fundraisers, fundraising, urban life, jungle, jungles, wildlife, animal activist, animal activists, activism, role reversal, endangered species, endangered habitat, habitat, habitats"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."
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travel agent, travel agents, travel agency, travel agencies, poster, posters, cow, cows, wildlife, alps, tourist, tourists, tourist attraction, tourist attractions, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, ecosystem, ecosystems, mountain, mountains, scenery, holiday destination, natural world, countryside, country"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."
"To be perfectly hones, I've never ripped into anything that wasn't begging to be ripped into."
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shark, sharks, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food-chains, food chains, food-chain, marine life, sea life, sea-life, wildlife, fish, fishes, shark attack, shark attacks, natural prey"Intimidating, isn't it?"
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intimidation, intimidating, intimidate, intimidates, squid, squids, octopus, octopuses, wildlife, hunting trophy, hunting trophies, fishing trophy, fishing trophies, sea monster, sea monsters, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, corporate culture, corporate environment, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies"Are you aware that this is now considered part of the Greater New York Metropolitan Area?"
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metropolitan, urban, urban environment, urban environments, urbanite, urbanites, new york, new yorker, new yorkers, grizzly, grizzlies, grizzly bear, grizzly bears, bear, bears, wildlife, natural world, nature, countryside, metropolitan area, boundaries, boundary, trespasser, trespassers, trespassing, trespass, city life, urban life"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."
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bear, bears, couple, couples, grizzly, grizzlies, grizzly bear, brown bear, black bear, in law, mother bear, momma bear, in-law, in laws, in-laws, hide, hiding, picnic, picnic basket, couple, couples, married life, marriage, wife, wives, fear, afraid, similarity, similarities, compare, compared, comparison, comparisons, wildlife, wild animal, predator, predators, couple, couples"Today's objective is the genetically modified corn in this quadrant!"
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bug, bugs, pest, pests, beetle, beetles, sap beetle, sap beetles, harvest, harvests, crop, crops, corn, corn crop, corn crops, gmo, gmos, genetically modified organism, plan of attack, strategy, organized attack, organised attack, wildlife, pesticide, pesticides, infestation, farmer, farmers, farmingChelsea of the Apes
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raised by apes, ape, apes, monkey, monkeys, gorilla, gorillas, wild, wildlife, jungle, jungles, children, child, kid, kids, teen, teens, teenager, attitude, bad attitude, sassy, too cool, eye roll, basic, swinging from ropes, tarzan of the apes, literature, novel, novels, book, books, as if, whatever, dad, dads, dad bod, father, fathers, fatherhood, daughter, daughters, family, families"He must smell your elk."
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elk, elks, elk scent, elk hunter, elk hunters, elk hunting, musk, musks, sense of smell, hunt, hunts, hunting, hunter, hunters, wildlife, wapiti, pun, puns, word play, word game, word games, witticism, witticisms, cologne, colognes, bo, body odour, body odorAt One With Nature
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dude, hey dude, casual, city, city boy, townie, townies, walking, street, street smart, street smarts, urban life, urban living, modern life, modern living, nature, natural, at one with nature, eco friendly, country side, countryside, eco-friendly, animal, animals, wildlife, raccoon, raccoons, squirrel, squirrels, natural, woods, wood, forest, forests, forest animal, forest animals, region, regions, regional, slang, city, cities, fashion, fashions, trendy, hip, hip and happening