"Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, canceled, cancelled, desire, desires, wish, wishes, ruin your life, attention, announcement, announcements, problem, problems, departure gate, departure gates, cancellation, cancellations, customer service, service, bad service, bad customer service
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, mom, mum, mums, mother, mothers, moms, greetings, celebrate, happy mothers day, happy mother's day, happy christmas, christmas, happy thanksgiving, event, events, events, lazy, distant, distance, executive, executives, businessman, businessmen, call, calling, wishes, busy, business
Birthday cards, get-well cards, stop sending me cards.
"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."
Tags:brussels sprouts, cows, genes, wishes, fairy godmother, dna, genetic engineering, modern life, agriculture, animals, myths, vegetables, food, gmo, gmos, genetically modified organism, genetically modified organisms, gm food, gm foods, self-preserve, self-preservation, wish, wishes, fairy, fairies, vegetarian, vegetarians, vegan, vegans, animal rights, slaughter, slaughters, slaughtering, self-interest, self-interested
"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."
Tags:pet, pets, cat, cats, will, wills, death, dying, deathbed, death bed, deaths, everyone leave, leave, leaving, wish, wishes, final wish, final wishes, last wish, last wishes, final-wish, last-wish, final-wishes, last-wishes, cat, family, families, love, important, importance, priority, priorities
Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate
A dog looks longingly into a butcher shop and a woman looks longingly into a shoe store.
Tags:shoe, shoes, shoe lover, shoe lovers, shoe shopper, shoe shoppers, shoe shopping, shoe fetish, shoe fetishes, consumer, consumers, consumerism, gender stereotype, gender stereotyping, want, wants, desire, desires, desiring, butcher, butchers, butcher shop, butch shops, wish, wishes, wish list, wish lists
"This is the tree of knowledge. We also have a tree of athletic ability and a tree if you want to be a good dancer."
"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."
Tags:technology, 3d, 3-d, three-dimensional, printer, printers, printing, furniture, too far, obsessed, obsession, obsessions, addicted, addiction, addict, addicts, regret, regrets, regretting, wish, wishes, wishing, bad idea, bad ideas, modern life, relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, interior design, interior designer, interior designers, interior decorating, interior decorator, interior decorators, home decor, decor, decoration, decorations, redecorating, decorating
"I wish my identity weren't so wrapped up with who I am."
"I wish they wouldn't just leave it there."
"You know what I wish? I wish there was a foundation that gave grants just to lie fallow for a year or so."
Tags:grant, grants, lazy, laziness, writer, writers, writing, author, authors, journalist, journalists, journalism, write, writing, writing process, manuscript, manuscripts, fund, funds, funding, literature, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, wish, wishes, wishing, idea, ideas, inspiration, inspirations, grant money, freelance, freelances, freelancing, freelancer, freelancers, recharge, recharges, recharging, publish, publishes, publishing, publisher, publishers, fund, funds, funding, creative, creative process, creativity
Congratulations- Wholehearted/Tinged with Envy
Tags:congratulations, congrats, congratulate, congrats, celebration, celebrate, wholesome, sincere, insincere, envy, envious, jealous, jealousy, resent, resentful, celebrations, card, cards, letter, envelope, letters, envelopes, wishes, present, presents, friend, family, enemy, frenemy, resent, bitter, bitterness
"Darling, trust me. Santa isn't going to give you a network."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, network, networks, networking, christmas list, christmas wish, christmas lists, wish, wishes, hope, hopes, dream, dreams, tv network, tv networks, network channel, network channels, ambitious, ambitiousness, ambition, ambitions, businesswoman, businessperson, businesspeople, head for business, heads for business
"First of all, stop calling them 'wishes'. That's loser talk. We call them 'goals'."
Tags:genie, genies, magic lamp, magic lamps, genie in a lamp, business man, business men, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, business people, wish, wishes, three wishes, 3 wishes, goal, goals, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, hopes and dreams, buzzword, buzzwords, business talk, business speak, modern life modern times, modern attitudes, aladdin, one thousand and one nights
"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"
Tags:pony, ponies, horse, horses, horse head, horse heads, mobster, mobsters, gangster, gangsters, gang hit, gang hits, organized crime, organised crime, mafia family, mob family, mob families, mafia families, daughter, daughters, wish, wishes, horse lover, horse lovers, crime family, crime families, family values, criminal, criminals, criminality
"Drive you to the airport? Gee, man. I don't know..."
Tags:yenta, gossip, gossiping, gossiper, gossipers, talking trash, talking smack, rumour, rumors, rumor, rumours, christmas, wish, wish list, wishes, naughty list, nice list, ask santa, father christmas, st nick, st nicholas, presents, present, gift, gifts, sit on santa's lap, kid, kids, child, children, mall santa
"And I don't seem any closer to figuring out why I'm not granting my own wishes."
"Mostly I miss the freedom from incarceration."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prison, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, freedom, free, liberation, incarceration, jailed, incarcerated, prisoner, prisoners, miss, missing, visit, visits, visitation, desire, desires, wish, wishes, regret, regrets, punishments, right, rights, human right, human rights
Places you want to go, but can't vs. places you have to go, but don't want to.
Tags:travel, travels, holiday, holidays, international travel, business travel, work travel, obligations, family obligations, work obligations, travel obligations, obligation, paris, bali, firenze, rio, antibes, erie, duluth, cleveland, natchez, peoria, short haul, short haul flight, national vs. international travel, want to go, don't want to go, staycation, globe trotter, aspirations, wishes, aspiration, wish, airport, airports, air travel, departures, departure, departure board, departure boards, american towns, small town america, small towns
"Three wishes less commission."
Tags:fairy, fairies, genie, genies, magic, magical, offer, offers, sale, sales, ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements, advert, adverts, commission, commissions, cut costs, cutting costs, cost-cutting, bargain, bargains, small business, small businesses, sales commission, door-to-door, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, salespeople, saleswoman, saleswomen, wish, wishes, three wishes, fairy tale, fairy tales, children's story, children's stories
"But I want a career, a family, and a cracker"
Tags:relationship, relationships, couple, couples, parrot, parrots, wish, wishes, desire, desires, hope, hopes, dream, dreams, ambition, ambitions, career, family, polly want a cracker, stereotype, stereotypes, couple, couples, gender stereotype, gender stereotyping, goal, goals, life goal, life goals