"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."
You Got Schmutz On Your Face
Tags:schmutz, dirt, dirty face, face, faces, jewish, jew, jewish community, jewish humor, jewish humour, yid, yiddish, hot dog, hot dog cart, street, streets, street vendor, vendor, vendors, mom, mum, mom jokes, mother, mothers, mothering, parents, parental, maternal, backward, backwards, reverse, reversed, reversal, reverse humor, schmutz on your face
King Solomon's Wedding"You may kiss the brides. You may also kiss the concubines, but don't make a big tzimmes about it."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, ancient, biblical, hebrew, old testament, kings, book of kings, judaism, christianity, king solomon, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, polygamy, polygamous, concubine, concubines, wedding, weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, wedding vows, vows, exchanging vows, saying i do, bride, brides, groom, grooms, kiss, kissing, rabbi, rabbis, minister, ministers, fuss, tzimmes, yiddish, shpasik, jtoons
At Bubbe's Condo
Tags:bubbe, bubelah, bubala, grandma, grandmas, grandmothers, grandparent, grandparents, term of endearment, terms of endearment, condo, condos, condominium, condominiums, parrot, parrots, parroting, imitate, imitates, imitating, imitation, jewish, jewish family, jewish families, yiddish, cheap, cheapskate, cheapskates, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotypical
Jewish Time Check
Tags:jew, jews, jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, jewish grandmother, jewish grandmothers, jewish grandma, jewish grandmas, family, families, grandparent, grandparents, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, parent, parents, yiddish, hebrew, time, time change, evil eye, superstitious, kayn aynhoreh
"Don't rush me! There's a very delicate line between good kitsch and junky tchotchkes."
"It would be sweet to be your Valentine, Kevin, but the concept's to goyish for me, and besides, I don't date shaygetsers."
The Mishegoss Stops Here
Tags:yiddish, jew, jews, jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, mishegoss, mischief, the buck stops here, nonsense, tomfoolery, foolery, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, serious, strict, manager, managers, management, boss, bosses, shpasik, jtoons
The Shnorrer's Shnorrer
"I'm not knitting anything. I'm just trying to look haimish for my Jewish boyfriend."
"I'll tell you one thing - only someone with a goyisher kop would dream up this kind of work."
"Height has nothing to do with it, Arnie. I just can't imagine myself with a man who doesn't know the broche for hors d'euvres."
Department of Pure Unadulturated Chutzpah
A man and woman look at a statue of an older looking woman with a mixing bowl and apron titled "The Baleboosteh".
Tags:baleboosteh, baleboostehs, balaboosta, balaboostas, homemaker, homemakers, housekeeper, housekeepers, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, statue, statues, sculpture, sculptures, art, art gallery, art galleries, art museum, art museums, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibition, art exhibitions, yiddish, jewish, jewish mother, jewish mothers, family, families, parent, parents
"Which section do you wish to sit in—Davening or Non-Davening?"
Tags:religion, religions, orthodox judaism, judaism, jewish, orthodox, jew, jews, orthodox jew, daven, davening, yiddish, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, airline, airlines, flying, air travel, flying, section, sections, seat, seats, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airport, airports, customer service, service, travel, travelling, traveling
"That by you is a wish? 'A toasted bialy with cream cheese'?"
"Morris, did you forget to schmeer Carlos for Christmas?"
Tags:schmear, schmeer, tip, tips, tipping, gratuity, money, bonus, bonuses, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas, yule, noel, xmas, forgot, forgotten, bad luck, accident, accidents, snow, shovelling snow, shoveling snow, customer service, service, doorman, doormen, tradition, traditions, tipping culture, bad manners, impolite, yiddish
"Well, actually, Colin, while I don't really have much to kvell about, on the other hand neither do I have much to kvetch about."
"After all, what is 'yo'? Only 'oy' backward."
At Bubbe's Condo
"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"
"Pishers and kvetchers reporting for duty."
"Shlep your bags for you, ma'am?"