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"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."
"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."
"It's fine the know your ABCs and your colors, but really you just have to be able to sit still and control your bladder."
"You wanted to sleep in bed with us- start proofing these briefs."
"Working at home has been a mixed blessing."
"How come they don't have mad-cauliflower disease?"
"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."