Yule Cartoons

"This year, we just decided to give money to ourselves."

"God, how earnest. Whales on recycled paper."

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

Line of children to see Santa Claus; Line of parents to use the ATM

"Have you been a moral child?"

"If they fit, we can return them."

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"Not 'Miracle on 34th Street' again?"

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."

"Daddy made it a point not to wear gold cufflinks when he did his Christmas tips."

"Anderson, my boy, if you truly believe that commercialism should be taken out of Christmas, perhaps you ought to consider whether you really belong in the department-store business."

"This structure will be torn down and replaced by a new 44-story cookie."

"Wow! Gold, frankincense, myrrh—and a six-pack!"

"For big, important things, it's the Met and the Modern, of course—but the Whitney is great for stocking-stuffers."

"Wow! It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas."

The Great Santa Shoot-Out at the Mall

"What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe."

"Any discount to the trade?"

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

Sign on a liquor shop decorated for Christmas that reads "Give the gift of alcohol".

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

Santa Claus waiting at an airport's baggage claim for his sack of presents.